100% Made Up

I m sick of seeing those stupid statistics in the newspapers. The character "%" freaks me out. Why in the holy hell do they come up with such stuff? "Researchers say xy% of people who do 'ABC' will live longer and those who don't will die a little earlier." What the hell is that supposed to mean? Does that mean the people who don't do 'ABC' are doomed to hell? What happens if 'ABC' is an unknown thing in that part of the world?

For all I know, these are all marketing gimmicks. Researchers are paid insane amounts of money to come up with credible statistics. At one point of time, there were reports that Carrots, Cabbage, Tomato, Onion, Coconut Oil, Red Chilli etc etc all increase the risk of Cancer. So, that indeed means that all the vegetarians are goners! This I believe was at a time when supermarkets were growing in numbers across the country. At a time when they needed to publicise western eating culture in India.

For all I know, I ll do whatever I want to, whenever I want to and how much ever I want to. If these FACTS are indeed correct, they need an exception and I ll be the exception.

To sign off, here's an interesting statistic which I ve seen a lot of times. 100% statistics are made up!"

Why??

Why

• Do people try to impose their opinion on others?
• Are people hypocritical?
• Do they bug other's happiness when they know that the other person is not interested?
• Do people have very short memory when it comes to success?
• Do the TV channels show the same Movie over and over?
• and How do people never get tired of watching the same masala movies umpteen times?
• Codes work perfectly just until the night before a major release?
• Can't people understand that the whole of South India is not just Andhra Pradesh?
• Is it difficult for bachelors to find apartments for rent in a place where there is more unmarried population?
• Do people drive a car, which can carry 6, all alone and congest the roads?
• Do people in India not follow traffic rules?
• Doesn't Google have a Linux version of GTalk?
• IT HAS TO BE LIKE THIS???

PS : Last line courtesy Enigma - Why - Le Roi Est Mort Vive Le Roi (Album)

Wish You Were Here

Been tripping lately on the song Wish You Were Here. Floydian lyrics at its magical best. Such a misunderstood song IMHO. Simple tune, yet so captivating.

The Line "Did you exchange, a Walk on part in a war, for the lead role in a cage." has been giving me goosebumps.

A Random Check

I was walking back to the apartment after work the other day. At the junction near my apartment, a few policemen were present. It seemed like they were there to stop the vehicles and then demand money from motorists for some reason or the other. How was I wrong!! One guy held me by my hand and dragged me towards them

Police : Where are you going??
Me : Back to my flat Sir
P : What do you do?
Me : I am an IT professional
P : Open your bag and show whats inside
Me : (Opened my bag and showed them)
P : Show your ID Card
Me : Sir, our company doesnt give ID cards. I can show you my Voter's ID Card.
P : Ok, show
(I take out the card and show him.)
P : This looks like a Xerox xopy
Me : No Sir, this is the original. I was given this
P : What is the other language besides English on the card?
Me : Thats Malayalam Sir, I belong to Kerala
P : Why isn't it printed in Hindi? Is Kerala outside India??
Me : **WTF look**
P : Ok, I m leaving you this time.
Me : **WTF look again and walked away**......

Out of Service

Something weird happened today. I'd gone to withdraw money at the ATM. There are quite a few ATMS in our locality and IDBI's was the only one where there was no one. The Machine prompted me to enter the PIN, amount to withdraw etc etc.

And here is the fun part. After the cash came out, a message was flashed on the screen. "The ATM is temporarily out of service. Inconvenience is regretted".

A true WTF moment!!

Glory Glory!!

They say, Its just a game. Winning and losing is a part of it. But for me, its a passion. Probably, second only to music. I dont care how, but I just want them to win. If they lose, I get pissed. If they win, I sing praises about them. They are the Best in football like what millions of my fellow Red Devils think. They are Manchester United. I started following the English Premier League when I was in 10th standard(2001-02 season). The game was Manchester United vs Tottenham Hotspurs. At halftime United were trailing 3-0 and I wondered, " WHy the hell o
these guys have so many fans? They have sucked bigtime in the first half." My answer was the second half. Manchester United scored 5 goals and obviously won the match, 5-3. ANd that day, a new Red Devil was born and he is yours truly.

And later, I found out that they were the same team who were trailing 1-0 in the injury time of the UEFA Champions' League final and went on to win the game 2-1 in injury time itself. Which other team has shown this much belief in such a bg match, at such a time? I dont think I can find any. This is the only team, whom after being 12 points behind in the title race with 4 matches to go will still have the belief that they can win the league. When everything seems lost, they pick up the pieces and pull off a miracle.

How many teams have been so successful in recent memory? How many teams can boast of home grown legends as this team can? All those teams bought superstars from other clubs after they attained stardom. We said, "F*ck buying stars, Lets make our own!" When many teams bought players to BUY them trophies, we just sat back, relaxed, took it easy and still won trophies!

This is a team, I ll support to the very end. It doesnt matter if their quality deteriorates. It doesnt matter if they dont win any trophies. Because I m sure somewhere down the line, they ll prove their greatness once again. I dont want to be like a lot of football fans who started supporting some team just because a lotta money and the so called SUPERSTARS came pouring in faster than Oil coming out of an oil well. Because I m sure that Manchester United will provide me with quality football. A brand of football which is attractive and is surely worth watching even if they are trailing 4-0. A brand of football which can make even such a heavy deficit seem conquerable with 10 minutes to go!

To wind up, here is some praise for the Red Devils :

Glory glory Man united,
Glory glory Man united,
Glory glory Man united,
As the reds go marching on on on!

Just like the busby babes in days gone by,
We’ll keep the red flags flying high,
Your gonna see us all from far and wide,
Your gonna hear the masses sing with pride.

United, Man united,
We’re the boys in red and we're on our way to Wembley!

Wembley, Wembley,
We're the famous Man united and we're going to Wembley,
Wembley, Wembley,
We're the famous Man united and we're going to Wembley

In Seventy-Seven it was Docherty
Atkinson will make it Eighty-Three
And everyone will no just who we are,
They'll be singing que sera sera

United, Man united,
We’re the boys in red and we're on our way to Wembley!

Wembley, Wembley,
We're the famous Man united and we're going to Wembley,
Wembley, Wembley,
We're the famous Man united and we're going to Wembley

Glory glory Man united,
Glory glory Man united,
Glory glory Man united,
As the reds go marching on on on!

Glory glory Man united,
Glory glory Man united,
Glory glory Man united,
As the reds go marching on on on!

Glory glory Man united,
Glory glory Man united,
Glory glory Man united,
As the reds go marching on on on!

Far Vision

Finally, an olympic Gold for India!! And the cliched " Expectations of a Billion Fulfilled " was flashed across almost all news channels. Some channels even cancelled there scheduled programmes and features about the ne Shooting Champion aired instead.

We all saw how calm and composed the champ was even though he had done something no other Indian Sportsperson had done in an individual event. When the whole nation was basking in the euphoria, only one place was as calm and cold as if nothing had happened. The place or rather the channel was Doordarshan Sports. With my little knowledge of hindi, I think Door means Far or Long and Darshan means Seeing or sight.

This is especially true for the channel. They showed the award ceremony and also, the Finals of that event, which thankfully happened when the air time was scheduled for that very event. Had it been delayed by a few minutes, we would ve seen Fencing or Judo or even a game of Handball happening between Country X and Country Y, whose locations wouldnt be known to even a small fraction of the viewers. But when it was expected to air something related to the Guy or atleast, more of some live action from the Olympics, especially with DD being the sole channel to broadcast the event across India, the good Old Doordarshan came to the fore. The Highlights of the previous day were aired at that time. It certainly would not have been a sin to take a break from the Scheduled programme and air another programme, especially since an event of such magnitude had taken place.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. Whenever a Live event is being shown, they would suddenly cut short the broadcast to bring us an UPDATE, only that the update would be about the medal tally and positions of a day before! In case they didnt know, there's something called a Ticker which even a Music channel like MTV uses these days to bring in latest gossips in the film industry. Its all about talk, talk and more talk in the supposed LIVE AND EXCLUSIVE coverage of the Games. Of course, such non sensical talk is exclusive to DD. THey distort factsand are most of the time ignorant even about the country from which a particular sportsperson may hail. Thus, Michael Phelps may suddenly find himself to be an Australian citizen while Lionel Messi will become Brazilian, atleast for a fraction of a second!

I believe that the DD guys are still in the past. And they ve named it aptly, Door Darshan, The "Door" as in distance is the DISTANT past. The sets look ordinary, there is no modern technology to provide uninterrupted coverage of any event.

I think DD should be included in the UNESCO World Heritage list. Because the technology is so old that within the next 5-10 years, these guys would be the only ones using it and should be preserved for the future generations to see how they aired TV programmes in the 20th century.